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« fleeting | /words/ | a lot of things happened today »

May 04, 2006 11:36 PM

"you forgot you have a blog"

so many many many things.

it feels pointless to try and explain any of them to anyone, much less you, a blank old grey screen of non-upgraded software (the cobbler's childrens' shoes, and all that).

the normal listing of things done, accomplishments made, brief updates about cursory topics, items purchased, places gone. none seem relevant.

I could tell you all that today was my mother's birthday. It sounds like she had a nice day. I could tell you that I sent her a gift and that elly helped me to pick it out. But what would any of that mean? Would you try to read between the lines?

I live in a new place. (I capitalize my "I"s intentionally, every time I type "i", and every time I have to go back to assert myself. to mean it. did you know that?) It is a nice place in many ways. Things are just so. Just where they go. What does that get me? Am I happy? Is this it? What happened to intensely red faced moments of thrashing while wearing a red teeshirt, looking for chorus girls?

What does money mean? Why do I fucking care? When will I learn?


oh this is just some emo bullshit that I'll delete later. whatever.